A Random Rambling

I really can’t wait to get out of this city + move on with my life. AND I WANT TO GET A TATTOO + MY MOTORCYCLE LICENSE.

This is just kind of an update, or a senseless rambling, or something...

Anywhoooo.... everyone knows that Joe + I are over, which has kind of sent me into an emotional upheaval. I hate the fact that he’s gone out of my life, but I don’t know, I guess I have to move on, yes? I’m going to be tougher from now on. I’m not going to cry unless a limb is severed from my body. Because you know what, I’m BETTER THAN THIS. People have been telling me this for years, that I’m above what everyone has put me through. And now, at eighteen years, three months, and seventeen days old, I FINALLY believe them. I’m not allowing anything to affect me or the way I live my life anymore. I’ve spent too many years/months/weeks/days crying over what coulda/shoulda/woulda been. I’m PAST that part of my life now. I am strong + beautiful + brave + if you wanna test me by throwing more shit at me, GO RIGHT AHEAD. I FUCKING DARE YOU. I know who my real friends are [HI to Z-Lo, FAO, K-Town, Brian, Amanda, Krystal -- MY SIX BEST FRIENDS] + I wouldn’t fucking trade one of them for anything. THEY’VE BEEN THERE THROUGH IT ALL. No fucking lies.

I want to concentrate so much on music + writing now, it’s literally all I think about. I want to play guitar + put all these songs I’ve written to music + record it + make a music MySpace. It’s not like I’m looking for a record deal, but I just want to get my voice out there, y’know? And writing - I HAVE TO BE PUBLISHED BEFORE I DIE. I’m going to start a novel soon, because NaNoWriMo inspired me to. Just no crazy deadlines this time + I’ll be good. I plan to work on it all through college + then get published. Cool? I think so. Poetry too...I’m gonna focus more on that. I’m also going to focus on LAW, because duh, I’m going to Temple to study that =D. I feel invincible + I want to do EVERYTHING. I’m totally starting a non-profit organization when I’m a lawyer too, to benefit victims of sexual assault + rape. Kind of like the Joyful Heart Foundation (GOOGLE it), but on a smaller scale. I’m kickass, I know.

Today I decided two things: I want a tat + a motorcycle license. The tattoo I’ve wanted forever, but my mom + I talked about it today + she’s getting a Celtic cross + I think I’m getting a Celtic cross with the claddagh symbol in the center. IRISH PRIDE. Motorcycle thing? Don’t ask, just randomness. I won’t want it in a week, probably.

ANYWAY, Life is fucking good now. I LOVE IT.


OH -- + when I start writing this beautiful novel, I'm posting excerpts here. REJOICE.