I'm freaking outttt....

I go to college TOMORROW.
Tomorrow night, I'll be sleeping in my dorm.
On September 2, I'll have to be in totally unfamiliar classes with unfamiliar people.

I'm spazzing.
I never thought I'd be scared, but I am.
I'm going to miss my friends + family.
But this is an adventure.

I'm not going to Meyers tomorrow morning...instead, I am going to Temple.
Rock on.

"Don't worry about being scared. Most things in life worth doing are scary. Do them anyway."
-A Very Intelligent Woman :)


All my Love,
K

This is What I Needed To Read Tonight:

I don’t remember how far back the E.R. episodes with Sherry Stringfield ran, but I loved watching her character and following her storyline. One of the most emotional seasons involved Sherry’s younger sister Chloe, a drug addict, suddenly showing up out of nowhere with her little baby girl. Sherry takes her sister and the baby in and lets them live with her. She and the baby develop a bond, born mostly out of her sister’s continual absence as she resumes her drug habit. Eventually, Chloe splits, and Sherry files for adoption. All is going smoothly, until Chloe shows up again, stating that she is recovered and that she wants her baby back. There is a heart rending scene at the end of that episode, in which Sherry sits alone in her apartment, talking to herself. One of the things she said impacted me to the point that I wrote it down in my journal. It was this: “You can’t try to be happy. It either comes or it doesn’t.”

I think this is true with writing as well. I just had a wonderful day working on my new book - after three days of nothing at all. Today the words and sentences and paragraphs came out of my fingertips like water, with almost no effort. Yesterday, and the two days before that, I stared at the screen, typed a few words, erased them, typed up a paragraph, erased it, stared at the screen, and then turned the computer off and went for a run. I don’t think you can try to write, the same way you can’t try to be happy. It’s an organic thing, inside us, that either comes or doesn’t.

The hard part is trusting that even when the words don’t come, they will.

Eventually.

So, I didn't write this, but someone pretty important to me did. And since I'm having such trouble with my novel lately, this really helped. I'm just going to be patient now -- when the words want to write themselves, they will.

To CG: Thanks for helping. <3

FORGOT MY PASSWORD?

Yeah, it's been that long since I blogged. I'm a little bit ashamed of myself. Geeeeez. I was sitting at the login screen going "SHITDAMNFUCK!? WHAT'S MY PASSWORD?!!!". I finally remembered it, but I swear to God, my heart stopped.

So I've basically been Miss Lack of Communication this August. But, I've been ridiculously busy. In five days, I move into Temple University [and yes, I'm terrified], so I've been prepping for that all month. I have:
-Shopped.
-Paid my tuition [!]
-Tried to find a job.
-Quit Little Flower Manor.
-SURVIVED AUGUST 13TH [=)]
-Got ANOTHER tattoo.
-Shopped some more.
-Wrote two paragraphs of my novel.

That last bullet point there makes me cringe. I've had this idea since May, but I have no idea how to make it come into fruition. I've had my moments [hours, days, months] of self-doubt. I've told myself time and time again that MAYBE this isn't for me, that MAYBE I really can't do it. But then I got pissed off, cried my eyes out, ate a popsicle, and stared once again at my one page of text. Then the circle repeated. It's obviously not going well.

I've also determined that college textbooks are far too expensive + that people in general [minus my amazing friends and some other great people] suck.

I'm sick right now. I think I have the flu [in August, go figure!] so I need sleep.

BUT BASICALLY, THAT'S IT :)

LOVEEEE

I'm Writing Now...

Woooooo!!! Finally!!!


Panera Bread helps me think, so here I am, writing The Great American Novel =]

Happy August =]

AUGUST RESOLUTIONS:

1. Stop being scared about college.
2. Start writing my novel.
3. Be happy.
4. Hang out with my friends lots before I leave.
5. Tattoo on August 13th <3.
6. MAKE SURE KNOEBEL'S IS KICKING <3