Someone Should Buy Me a Laptop

NOVEL INSPIRATION!

I must write on a laptop. I can't write on a desktop. I have motherfugging mental issues.

By the way:
It's been exactly two months today [gasp] that Joe + I called it quits. I just sort of realized it + got upset. IDK why. He's moved on and I'm almost happy for him. I guess I want it to be me. I want to be the one he loves. I'm jealous, which is petty + pointless, but it's true. I miss his hugs + his kisses + the broken curfews + the games of DDR + laying on my bed + late night phone calls about nothing. I miss the way he got me flowers and teddy bears and coffee and blueberry bread. [EDIT: We also fought over stupid crap + he made me feel like shit sometimes. But I think the good outweighed the bad.] He was my first "real" love, and life hasn't been the same without him. I wish him the best, of course, but I also resent that his best isn't with me. Is that stupid? Am I immature? Or am I just healing? I wish I knew. But I think a part of me still loves that silly boy...

Sigh.

Also: FOUR FULL SCHOOL DAYS LEFT. Seriously. Graduation is June 10th. And I'm so scared. I was so excited to graduate, and then, all these emotions crashed down on me. I've gotten so close to people that I don't want to leave them behind, and I'm scared of college. Temple is HUGE + I'm afraid that I'm going to feel all alone.

DAMN YOU, MIXED FEELINGS!!!

Yours in Perpetual Confusion,
Ker