I Try to Live With No Regrets...

But there are some days when I wish I could go back and change everything. I miss how my life used to be....

So You're Probably Sick of Hearing About My Butterfly Obsession...

But I'm droning on about it anyway.

Picture this: I'm lounging in the Embassy Suites hot tub [which is entirely too hot, if you can believe it] reading this chick lit novel called "Flirting With Forty" by Jane Porter. So usually not my cup of tea, but eh, it cost me ten cents at a church bazaar, and for that price, who's gonna argue? Anyway...yeah, I'm more into hardcore brainy thrillers [think "Digital Fortress" by Dan Brown] but I decided to read this book anyway. As it turns out, the book isn't half bad. It's actually got some sincere moments of wit, but it's mostly too "lovelovechickychickyblaaahhh" for me. But I always finish books. God, I'm a rambler. So I'm a little more than halfway through this monstrosity [just kidding, it's really an okay book], and I come across this:

"I'm not a caterpillar in a little cocoon anymore. I've broken out. If I follow the analogy, I'm a butterfly now. But what I don't understand is how in the hell did my caterpillar body become that of a butterfly? How did that fuzzy thick green body become long and slender with wings? And even if I don't understand how the caterpillar metamorphosed, the fact is, I am different now. I've got these big wings."

Well, you people know me. You know how I feel about butterflies. But THIS...it truly captures EXACTLY how I feel. How did I become so beautiful? How did I turn into this perfect little person when I feel so IMperfect. It's a pretty good ponderance. I don't exactly have an answer, and maybe I'm really not supposed to. Maybe we're not meant to know things like this.

Just a little something to think about =]

XO,
Kerry

I Miss You Guys!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I'll be home soon! =]



And I'll actually be able to use MySpace, since this stupid SiteKiosk excuse for an internet provided by Embassy Suites won't let me on it =P



I'm tired.

Updatesssss

Soo hi! It's been a pretty long time since I've given that fun little insight into the life of me. So here's what's going on:

1. On July 21, I'm going to Williamsburg, VA for a week. I will be partying it up at Busch Gardens + Water Country USA. I'm fricken excited.

2. I am NOT going to see Secondhand Serenade on August 12th, because my car sucks.

3. I AM going to Knoebels on August 16th with Jenn. Yessss. [P.S. I'm pretty glad I met/got closer to that girl. She's thoroughly bitchin']

4. On August 27th, I am moving into Hardwick Hall, room 460. It's time for college. My roommate seems nice. I can't wait to meet her. Hopefully, we'll be friends =].

5. I have NOT started writing my novel yet. I am a slacker.

6. I have decided that during spring semester of my junior year, I am studying abroad in Rome. I am taking Italian to show my seriousness.

7. I am single. Perpetually =].

8. I love the outdoors....even though I'm allergic to it.

9. Goodbye =]

You Know You've Been on a GSLC Youth Retreat When: [By Kerry + Amanda]

-You know what the word marshmallow means + that it has nothing to do with food.
-You've corrupted a pastor -- and you liked it.
-You know that green tea in the morning can be the saving grace of the entire group.
-You've seen Amanda so drugged she couldn't even run a service.
-You've, at some point, hung your clothes from rafters or in front of fireplaces.
-You know that everything that goes down goes down at "church camp" and you appreciate the irony in this.
-You can name at least two group members that will streak at some point during the weekend.
-You know that, inevitably, someone will forget pajamas.
-You know the agony of "toilet duty" and how to NOT get on Mr. + Mrs. B's bad side.
-You know and respect the original BCC Crew. [REPRESENT!]
-You are in love with Hobart + you have fought over dish duty.
-You've seen somebody get chased with an uprooted tree -- by their father.
-You've seen your life flash before your eyes while crossing the suspension bridge.
-For one weekend, you forget all aspects of looking beautiful.
-You know that if you don't eat your vegetables, Mrs. B. will NOT let you eat dessert.
-The song "Rise and Shine" raises the hair on the back of your neck.
-You don't know the descant to "Sanctuary", but you have heard Amanda, Kerry, and Becky sing it on several occasions.
-You know all the movements to every Grease song.
-Phantom of the Opera has a whole new meaning.
-You get in line last for meals, because you know that "the last shall be first, and the first shall be last".
-You know that Pam + Amanda are possibly the most anal people on Earth.
-You get used to getting up an extra twenty minutes earlier just so you can have the first - and therefore, the hottest - shower.
-You know that some people are just TOO happy in the mornings and should be avoided at all costs.
-You know which people will forgo showering for the weekend, and you avoid them.
-You know how to cook regardless of your age, because otherwise, you won't eat.
-You realize that if you don't know how to play ping-pong, then you'll get bored very quickly.
-Handheld video games are practically the work of the devil.
-There is NEVER a cell phone signal in Bear Creek.
-You know not to play Bull when somebody's sitting on the top bunk.
-You've seen your pastor sleep with a doll.
-The "What happens here, stays here" policy is the greatest thing you ever heard because you know you can basically do whatever you want and your parents will never hear about it.
-You've sang songs from Rent in a church service.
-You've told someone to "shut up and let the choir members do the singing".
-You know what "Jesus Juice" is.
-You've been given a lesson in world hunger that you'll never forget.
-You've written, produced, and acted in several skits.
-Raising your hands and shouting "Wooohooo!" in a Lutheran service is perfectly acceptable to you.
-You know what it's like to go a weekend without shaving and you know how to hide that fact as well.
-You've worn "community clothes".
-Hair brushing is optional...tooth brushing is not.
-You've lifted several times your weight in either firewood or garbage.
-You know everything that everyone is allergic to, because you've seen them exposed to it in the course of a weekend.
-You know Guy's real age, and you don't believe it.
-You know which men are "mommies" and which men are "daddies".
-You know that it's better to not ask what happens in the boys' cabin.
-You know that there will be pictures taken of you while you are eating, sleeping, sitting, or walking and you don't even care anymore.
-You've snuck off or seen other people sneak off to make out.
-You know by Saturday morning who will piss Mr. + Mrs. B. off and be stuck on toilet duty.
-You know Amanda is the ONLY person allowed to wake Kerry and Pastor Janell.
-You realize that people outside of the GSLC Youth Group will never understand why we put ourselves through this.
-You know the Turkey Trail leads to everywhere.
-You know that if you get lost, nobody's going to look for you, so you might as well find a stream and follow it back.
-You know that even though the advisers send out a list of what to pack, you'll forget something.
-You know to leave the bathroom light on at night, even though 98% of people in the cabin want it off.
-You know who's going to bring inappropriate music + of what nature it will be.
-You know that someone will run outside barefoot + get screamed at by 10 different people.
-You hate when you have to share the camp with another group.
-You know that the BCC Original Crew has had the same bed for years, and they will not give them up.
-You had to stay in the retreat house one time, and you remember when the boys knocked over the bunk beds.
-Ice cream night is when God comes to Earth.
-You get sick of "appropriate" movies and anything Disney pisses you off.
-You're irritated with the Kids in Action by Saturday night because they never let you run off + be bad.
-You know that Amanda is the only person that won't rat you out if she catches you doing something bad.
-Hikes are not just hikes -- it's where everything goes down. This is facilitated by the fact that small children are not allowed on hikes.
-You know at least one couple that either formed or ended at Bear Creek Camp.
-You know that the newbies won't last.
-You think the whole concept of bringing friends along is ridiculous, because they just don't get it.
-You rarely go home with the clothes you came with.
-You know it's always 20 degrees colder at camp, and you know you have to dress appropriately.
-You hope you get snowed in at camp.
-You've seen a family of wild turkeys + wondered how they'd taste.
-You've attempted to pick something poisonous.
-You know that the same songs are sung on the Youth Retreats, during the Palm Sunday Procession, and at every Sunday School Event ever, but you still use the songsheet.
-You know that group pictures always happen on Sunday morning.
-If you don't stay the whole weekend, then you were clearly never there.
-You think people who don't stay the whole weekend are "wimping out". No matter what.


AND LAST:

-YOU NEVER FORGET THE YOUTH RETREATS.
-

Ah, Little Flower Manor...

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.

Just kidding. 9/10 of the time, my job sucks. But sometimes it doesn't.


ANYWAY...
I have crush on someone new...







Damn my silly little emotions...

GAH

Have you ever just wanted to scream? Like, so loud that all the windows shatter? That's how I feel right now. And I don't exactly know why.